The Year to Bring it Back

I’ve found life as a working-student-athlete can be quite hectic at times. I would argue that all student- athletes live this fast-paced, busy, action-packed lifestyle. So it begs the question, why do we do it? My professors explain that stress can be described as “the new smoking”, and the key to health and prosperity is living “stress free”, or so we are taught. So why do educated students do everything in their power to get through school, to pay the next rent payment, to train at 9pm albeit 6am ... when it creates this stress-promoting lifestyle? I think I’ve figured it out.

WE. LOVE. IT.

And I am guilty as charged. Last semester I was working 3 paying jobs outside of school, 3 volunteer positions, training full time, and maintaining my class attendance. Now, I can’t say it was all tulips and daises, I certainly had my fair share of breakdowns as do many university students. But I find myself today in a completely different scenario... I’ll get into why later... but I have 3 new jobs, new classes, new and old volunteer positions and a boyfriend who demands my constant attention! Kidding, love you Tyler! But in all honestly, I’ve discovered that I seek out chaos. I enjoy being busy and having commitments, it’s part of who I am and I like that about myself.

Me getting XRays in February

But with the ups, comes the downs, and what I whole-heartedly understand is that being completely booked up comes with its downsides. I know when my responsibilities pile up, I start prioritizing/ neglecting and then finally I get the tell tale signs of my anxiety creeping up. Part of the draw to having all of these commitments is feeling in control, and feeling like I can take charge of my life. While I’m able to do that most of the time, I also have insecurities and anxieties that creep up on me and begin to lose my sense of control. In these times when I feel a low coming on, I know that it’s important for me to take a step back and get some alone time. Insert: introverted extrovert definition.

Unfortunately, last year and up until very recently, I was experiencing more lows than highs. Not to say that I have any regrets; I cherish all of the memories I have from McMaster and the last three years of my life. But my usual “break” or “self care routine” wasn’t bringing me relief... I was not happy.

 

This winter I had the chance to work at Hardwood Ski and Bike alongside Chris Wong in the Trail Shredders program. 

I think I’ve known for a while that I was putting my dreams and aspirations on the back burner and forgetting the WHY. Bringing back the idea of stress, I had lost that sense of control and purpose. For me, life is about chasing what brings you happiness, and committing to doing so. I got so lost in doing what I thought I wanted, that I forgot to ask myself along the way, is this STILL what I want.

And that was when I emailed Brevard College about transferring. So, this Fall 2020, I will be packing up the nugget and bringing my bikes down for my last couple years of school, and revamping my cycling career. I am beyond excited to see what the future has in store for me.

Take back to my first ever trip to Brevard back in  2011!

And as always, I am very excited to be teaming up with Highgate Racing for another year of getting more women on bikes!

 

This year Highgate Cycling will be partnering with Steam Whistle Brewing again! Thank you for supporting my mountain bike and school lifestyle :)

Thanks to Brad Perley and Jamie Ellisor for making the transition smooth and easy and giving me this opportunity. Thanks to my friends for helping me understand when I’m pushing myself for the wrong reasons and of course making me happy when I feel like that’s impossible. And to my team manager, Dee, from Highgate Racing for inspiring me every day and making me feel like my opportunities are endless no matter how old I am or where I’m at in life.